Procrastination and excessive obligations, constant self-criticism, doubts and fear of failure, avoiding opportunities, harmful habits, avoiding support or advice from others — this is my life. And before reading The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest, I didn’t even know why all this was happening to me. Did this self-help book help me deal with all these difficulties? Definitely not (spoiler: just like any other)! Did this book at least help me understand a bit of what’s going on with me? Absolutely YES!
Self-sabotage is a coping mechanism, a way we protect ourselves from our own perceived failures. When we deny ourselves the satisfaction of our needs, especially when driven by a lack of belief in our ability to achieve what we desire, self-sabotage occurs.
The Mountain Is You is a compelling exploration of self-sabotage and personal transformation. In this insightful guide, Wiest delves into the psychological barriers that prevent us from achieving our true potential. Through a blend of practical advice, reflective exercises, and motivational insights, the book helps identify and overcome self-destructive patterns. Wiest uses the metaphor of a mountain to represent the internal obstacles we face, offering a roadmap for climbing these personal peaks and embracing a more empowered, fulfilling life.
The Mountain Is You is indeed a step-by-step guide to better understanding self-sabotage, as it is divided into 7 important sections:
Now you can see that The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest is truly a helpful guide for deconstructing internal chaos. I wanted to specify which sections contain step-by-step instructions, but it’s not necessary because the entire book is a step-by-step guide to learning to understand yourself. The author addresses questions, provides solutions, offers tools, and explains in detail how to use them. And for this, I adore this masterpiece!
Self-sabotage begins when there is a conflict between two desires — one that we are conscious of and another that remains subconscious. We know we want to move toward a goal, but for some reason, we remain stuck.
Honestly? I found it by chance! Up until that moment, I hadn’t even come across any quotes from this book (which are now countless). But now I understand that I didn’t find this masterpiece by accident; rather, it found me.
My main problem was (and still is) planning instead of acting. I dream a lot, want many things, and can spend hours planning every little detail. But when it comes to the realization that achieving what I want requires taking action, everything falls apart. Something happens, and I can’t seem to do anything.
Or on the flip side, at certain moments, something clicks, and I dive into various activities. I might go without sleep, work constantly, and study, only to burn out eventually. I can start many things (like creating my website, a YouTube channel, writing custom texts, making music, etc.), but I never really bring anything to a point of accomplishment.
Frequent and abrupt changes mean that you keep starting a new chapter without finishing the previous one. Despite all your efforts to move forward, you find yourself more stuck than ever.
And most importantly — I didn’t even understand it. I’m so used to it that constant sudden changes are something normal, like a feature of my character…
Remember: to break the habit of making such changes, you don’t need to commit to something forever if it doesn’t suit you, nor should you stay in a dangerous or unhealthy environment. What’s important is to figure out the right direction to move in, and to decide not to quit too early. Then, create a plan that will allow you not just to survive but to thrive. When you find yourself in a situation where you’re tempted to run and start over, try to endure the discomfort and don’t give up. Understand why it’s uncomfortable for you to attach yourself to one place or person, and determine what forms of attachment you’re willing to consider acceptable.
I got so used to this pattern that I started justifying periods of inactivity, constantly telling myself, “I’ll do it later; this is a project for the future. Someday it will be successful, and I’ll definitely return to it. For now, I need to find something new that will make me happy.”
Don’t allow yourself to justify inaction. Stop soothing yourself with excuses. Make it a habit to evaluate your day based on how many useful, important, and healthy things you accomplished, and you will see progress quickly.
And I got accustomed to it. I became used to starting many things and then abandoning them. I would go through numerous online courses, work on various projects, write music, engage in sports, and so on, only to spend a week, two weeks, or even a month doing nothing. Each time, I felt extremely uncomfortable and criticized myself, but I had become so accustomed to this cycle that I didn’t realize I had trapped myself in a cage.
On an intuitive, physiological level, we perceive change as a threat. It’s no wonder, then, that out of fear, we build cages for ourselves and don’t even try to escape, even though the doors are not locked.
Yes, but not in the way many might expect. After reading the book, I didn’t become super productive, I still procrastinate frequently, and I still feel an immense fear of change.
Psychological resilience isn’t about suppressing or smoothing out discomfort; it’s about listening, understanding, and adjusting your course. If you start viewing life as a feedback mechanism that shows who you are and helps you build a fuller and more prosperous life, you’ll suddenly see that it’s not life’s circumstances that are holding you back, but your own mind.
However, I did come to understand what’s happening. I finally started paying attention to my life and to myself. I began analyzing my days, my actions, and my thoughts, addressing my past, and trying new things.
To gain full control of your life, you first need to take complete and unequivocal responsibility for everything that happens, including things beyond your control. Anyone who has mastered their life knows that it’s not about the event but the reaction to it. That’s what determines the outcome.
I would definitely recommend reading The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. I hope it helps you, if not to fully resolve the complexities of your life, then at least to start paying more attention to yourself (your desires, fears, thoughts, and actions). And I plan to read this book again after some time, and then again, and again…
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